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agemo84

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Depressed [Apr. 20th, 2005|11:34 am]
agemo84
[mood |hyperhyper]
[music |Damien Rice same song "blowers daughter" over and over]

Ugh. Thats all I have to say. I just saw my chemistry grade. I failed the last test. I guess its ok because if this grade gets drop then I will still have a B in the class but I hate this, I hate this. Biology I got a B, and now chemistry a B. UGHHHHHH!!!! WHY AM I IN THIS MAJOR!!!!!!!!!!!! I am not good in science, i am interested in it, but I AMMMMMM NOTTTTT GOOOOOODDDDDD INNNN ITTTT!!!!! Why do I keep doing things that I dont want to do, only what my parents want me to do!!!!!!!!!!! I can't even breathe right now, not just because of my sickness but because I cant handle things anymore. I just want to be happy. I thought I wanted this career; I thought I wanted to be a nurse, i thought i wanted to go into medicine, but why is is SOOOOO HARD, why do i feel like I cant do anything and I am not good at anything. I am so tired, God, why are you doing this to me. I have studied like crazy for my science classes like crazy, ive studied the material i know it like i dont know like pretty freaking good know it. Why do i feel like im not getting anything closer to where i should be in this life. I just feel like I am so far away and i am so confused, except everyone thinks i am so with it/i know what i want to do. But its just not working. Its just not working
I think what really comes to it, is that I dont know what i want. I dont know what i want. I am just living this life the way my parents want me to. And they are the only people I listen to, and I know they want the best for me, but why do I feel like this then. UNHAPPY. CONFUSED. And SO ALONE. I dont know what i want. I dont know what i want. I cant be passionate about something, if im not good at it. and i am really not good at this; im really not at this. I JUST WANT TO QUIT and RUN AWAY, drive far far away, where i can just not be me anymore and no one knows me and i can just be happy. If you are reading this, I am sry that you are. This journal is not to tell anyone about what has happened in my life. It is the only place where i can vent, and really express what i think.
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SaD [Apr. 19th, 2005|09:32 am]
agemo84
[mood |optimisticoptimistic]
[music |Silence to helps me with my Thoughts]

Awwww I'm so sad! I haven't written in livejournal but I thought i needed to today hahaha 3 months or longer since my last entry. I just realize that my first year in college is about to end. Even though I think it is the same as when you finish a year in high school, it isnt. Alot of things will be different. Alot. First, Jamie is moving out :(. this has its pros and its cons. I was annoyed with when Jamie was supermom, and wanted to clean everything and using my labtop but she told me last night that she wanted to go to cheesecake factory one time this week. I remember all our talks and the funny things she said, she wasn't the best roommate, but she was a good friend. I always went to her for advice. It'll suck next year, when I come back to see that she is not there anymore. Ugh i hate saying goodbye, i really do. Its one of my weaknessess. And its not just jamie, i think its everybody. I dont know if the same people will be here next time. you know. even though chris had his moments, he won't be here-he'll be in FSU/or whatever community college is up there. Ill miss those halo games with chris, and just going to his apt., Tuna is leaving too, and I remember that game we played before and those grill times at his house. Danny is leaving pegasus pointe too, not that i was ever at his house, but the fact that all of us are going our seperate ways is sad. I remember that time we all went to the beach that really bad night where that week was soo bad. "up all night" and go to the beach. That was terrible, but it was a good memory. I guess I am ok with "kings" people leaving, since that is what i always seek, but that were some good times we had. And I noticed that towards the end of this year, everything that we did in the beginning of the semester (the same people that I hung out with) were slowly growing apart, but you remember those times you had with them and you cherish them. I wont be back at the dorms next year, visiting, because it will be a new group of freshman. Some people will be there, but everyone will be spread out in apts. off campus. Thats the reason why it will be different next year-everyone , i mean everyone will be away from each other. Plus the classes I'm taking next year, are not gen eds so i wont really see my class in most of them except those in my field. It makes me wish i lived on campus this year,but then it doesn't. I can't regret anymore why things didn't work out the way they did, because God had a purpose for it. I am looking forward to RUSH next year, and for 7:30am classes--year right. Next year will be just sooooo filled, thats why I am not working at Shells anymore. Can you believe it, ashley omega, had a job as a hostess. Never would imagine it. This summer will be good at home, but of course ill miss my friends at school. Cheers to a year of studying my brains off, making friends that change the way i think, being indpendent and able to handle it, and for a feeling that college can't be lived in one year but more to come, its like you have a taste of it, but you haven't really finished the whole drink. PLEASE GOD LET Me FINISH THIS YEAR WITH GOOD GRADES!
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(no subject) [Mar. 14th, 2005|09:56 am]
agemo84
You scored as Christianity. Your views are most similar to those of Christianity. Do more research on Christianity and possibly consider being baptized and accepting Jesus, if you aren't already Christian.

Christianity is the second of the Abrahamic faiths; it follows Judaism and is followed by Islam. It differs in its belief of Jesus, as not a prophet nor historical figure, but as God in human form. The Holy Trinity is the concept that God takes three forms: the Father, the Son (Jesus), and the Holy Ghost (sometimes called Holy Spirit). Jesus taught the idea of instead of seeking revenge, one should love his or her neighbors and enemies. Christians believe that Jesus died on the cross to save humankind and forgive people's sins.

</td>

Christianity

96%

Islam

67%

Buddhism

63%

Judaism

46%

agnosticism

42%

Hinduism

38%

atheism

38%

Paganism

33%

Satanism

25%

Which religion is the right one for you? (new version)
created with QuizFarm.com
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There's no place like HoMe [Dec. 18th, 2004|10:41 am]
agemo84
[mood |optimisticoptimistic]
[music |Garden State Soundtrack]

So I've been home for a week now and its been....Great! I don't know why I wanted to go home so badly but I just did and I am so glad to be in my bed in my room, getting home cooked meals, seeing my family especially my grandmas and my dad and sister and my dog, who likes me now becuase I don't like him (lol). But yeah I've been going to the gym in the morning with my dad and then going to my favorite smoothie place, Jamba Juice. I love getting the Palm Beach Post whenever I can (The Orlando Sentinel sucks). I don't even miss Orlando yet and thats a big deal for me becuase after two or three days I want to go home, but not this time. So my beautifut tree is up-I love my christmas tree. Its just Christmas here in Fla and the weather is proving it too (its been freezing at night and in the morning). Christmas shopping is giving me a headache and most of the gifts I've done haven't been for my christams list, but for my sister's. My shopping partner (dad) and i are reunited again. I really do love shopping with my family, because if I'm about to get something, they tell me the truth on whether its a good idea or not. My gmas are so funny. The things they say sometimes are great-I have so much respect for the elderly now, but only if they are not driving, if they are thats a whole new story. I started teaching tennis this week MWF at Howard Park with Bernard, my old high school tennis coach. Its been a fun week. All the kids were really nice except this one, who was whinny and obnoxious, but overall all the kids were cooperative. All the kids were decent tennis players and there were such cute little kids. I was a horrible coach yesterday though becuase I made them do four court suicides (don't yell at me, it was my last day). Their little legs couldn't take it, but they still finished strong. Ten dollars and hour is such a rate compated to my 6.00 at AF, which can be the most horrible job ever especially if you have sucky managers. Well that has been my week and I am excited for this upcoming week not only because of christmas, but becuase I see my cousins and my mom. Happy Holidays.....Yay for the birth of Baby JESUS!!!
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Guess who gets to keep her job!!!! [Dec. 9th, 2004|12:25 am]
agemo84
Me! I am so excited and grateful that I can keep my job at Abercrombie. My manager Joey was so nice even though I misjudged him in the beginning. One more exam to go: The dreaded Biology which I heard wasn't so bad. I hope! Today's exam was like watching a cartooon movie literally thats what it was. I had to watch shrek and write an essay on it. The only bad part was waking up at six o clock in the morning to take a seven am exam...YUCK! Its been sad saying bye to all the teachers and fellow classmates, because in college you never know when you will see them again..its weird. I'm so pooped right now and my bed is my haven. Three more days til I'm home, I can't wait and I don't know why. Hope everyone does well on their finals)))))peaces and kisses
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Really STRESSFUL MORNING!!!! [Dec. 6th, 2004|10:43 am]
agemo84
Ugh, yet another stresful morning here in orlando, florida. I woke up this morning around 8:45am to go to the bank, i was so excited that I was gonna get money today and get gas and groceries, but i left the bank without my bank card and a new account at bank of america. Yeah cahrazy! I had a panic attack and started crying when the ladies at the bank told me that they couldn't find my bank card. I died! I'll finish this after meal plan...
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The rest of this CahRazy Day [Dec. 5th, 2004|11:55 pm]
agemo84
[music |Silence is beautiful]

So I started to sleep after my crazy day and was awaken by my roomates. I had three missed calls-one from my manager who threatened to "terminate" me if I didn't call him back. So i called him back and told him the whole story and he told me to come in to work and that my shift would start whenever I get there. I was like UGH!, but after my shift I realize I was glad to have gone except that I missed church at 6pm which was a boo. I saw VINCE, so exciting. He is so cool; His phone died which was why he didn't call me back but he will he said, hopefully. Working at Abercrombie is so bad for my wallet. I like more stuff in there now than I ever have before, because i think "oooo i have discounts", but what I should really think is "ooo, i only get paid bi-weekly" I hope I can keep this job-I really like it now, but I don't know if they will keep me if I don't go to work the weeks of the holidays-this is a total bummer. If God wants me there, than He will let me work there, but if not I know it was for a reason that I leave. Jennifer's birthday party is this weekend-yes we are celebrating it as a weekend thing. Hopefully she will have a good time-she needs it; she's put up with alot of stuff. Well I have to go and study for my first college final exam; the one I am really nervous about is Biology (broad questions is what I am hoping for). Sweet dreams***
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Homesick [Dec. 5th, 2004|08:47 am]
agemo84
[music |The Sound of Sprinklers]

It took me this morning to realize how much I missed my family. I woke up this morning at 6am to go to work. It takes me usually 30-45min to get to work, but this morning it only took me 20minutes 60 i was there at 7am and my shift didn't start til 8am. I decided to check how much money I had in my credit card and realize that i left my boa savings card in the atm yesterday. So i rushed back to the boa and was relieved to find it in the bank. Some sweet kind soul put it in an envelope and stuck it underneath the door. I was so happy and thanked God for His kindness upon me. Prayer is so important! I went home deciding not to go to work and to call in sick which i tried to do 100 times, but no one answered the phone. I came home and couldn't find my credit card so i started panicking again. I finally called my dad and he reassurred me that nothing would happen to the money on the card because there was none. I was so happy he said that that it made me sad, because I realized how my dad just make things better without really doing anything and I recalled all the times when my dad just made things when better when I was really sad or disappointed. After his call, I checked online when the fla. mall open and it said 11AM!!! I really want to quit now, because I thought I would get in trouble if I didn't call, but attempting to call a million times should prove how responsible I was about it. Except my "responsibility" trait really doesn't go with this card problem. This is the first time I have gotten homesick. I can't wait to see my family in the holidays....
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Back to Live Journal [Dec. 4th, 2004|07:36 pm]
agemo84
[mood |Cold but all warm inside]
[music |Garden State Soundtrack]

Well this has been a long time. I have been up to lots of things since I last journaled. There are so many things to reminisce, and usually I would love to just talk about what I have been up to, but that was the old Ashley. The new Ashley is just the same, but she is concerned with what tomorrow will bring instead of dwelling or holding to the past. I have become vegetarian and have been for a week; yesterday was the first time I ate chicken in a long time and I really enjoy this lifestyle plus I have given up coffee (my love) for tea, which I enjoy as much now. I love Teavana in the mall. Speaking about malls, I work at Abercrombie now, Brand rep, overnight, Whatever they call me. I have worked there for two days now and starting to like it. I met my soulmate last night. His name is Vince and I think he is gay, but I love him to death. Once he started talking about how much he loved Britney Spears and that he was a dancer; I just knew he had to be gay. We both have the same birthdays and love the color brown. He is just one of those people you are instantly attracted to and it was so much fun working with him and Bill. I cut my hair short and I miss my long hair so much. I look at pictures in Jennifer's phone of myself with my long hair and I am sad. I like my short hair, but not as much as my long hair. Last week of the semester and also finals week. My first week of college dreaded finals. Hopefully it won't be that bad. I have a math exam, which won't be too bad, a english exam on wednesday and bio one on friday. The one I am most nervous about is bio, but hopefully it will be broad, Hopefully. I love this Garden State soundtrack-its so serene and the words are meaningful. I have decided being in college makes you think alot. I have been profounded by so many things that I have become more wise. I just think alot more about what I am about to do then just doing it. When you do that, its really weird. I have to wake up early tomorrow, work at 8am, good night to all and you remember you always have time to look up at the stars***
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Hurricane Frances [Sep. 2nd, 2004|02:13 pm]
agemo84
[mood |scaredscared]
[music |None-Didn't set up my stereo]

I am home from school, and not for really good reasons to. Two words: Hurricane Frances! I came home at 11:00 last night and it was a hot ride home too. Jennifer didn't have any AC in her car so we were ruff ridin' it, but the air was nice- i love fresh air and pretty stars! My LWA Mark made me feel so scared last night-he said we might have school for a semester if the hurricane hits us. WHERE AM I GOING TO GO IF THAT HAPPENS?!!!! I brought my stereo with me-My true love and left everything else behind. Jenn and I propped our mattress over the window to protect it. Oh and our apts are only made for a Hurricane 2 and Frances is a 4! Great. Oh I just pray that nothing bad happens and that everyone is safe. I can't believe i am saying this, but i want to go back to school :) Whoever is reading this-stay safe!
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